Hospice Volunteers Highlighted for Giving

by Jean Berns Jones

Quilt completed by Hospice volunteer at the request of a Hospice patient

“We are commissioned to love one another,” Pat Lindsey of Mineral Point gives as her reason for being a hospice volunteer.

No wonder hospice volunteers are so often referred to as “angels.” It is hard to think of a better example of pure, selfless giving than shown by those who offer their time to go into the home of someone they may not even know and help them through the most difficult time possible.

They do this knowing that the patient is dying and that they are opening themselves to all the sadness, separation and loss this process entails.

During the 2006-07 fiscal year, area hospice volunteers donated 1,640 hours of their time. They drove a total of 10,269 miles for which they are not compensated, not even for gas.

Thirty-five people serve as volunteers for Upland Hills Hospice, according to Volunteer Coordinator Pat Spurley. In her fifth year as coordinator, Spurley has 14 years’ experience as a CNA and she also works in this capacity with the hospice team, which includes a physician, RNs, social workers, therapists, clergy and other professionals.

“Hospice is my passion,” Spurley said. “It is so fulfilling to help a person carry out their last wishes to be at home. It’s wonderful to be able to relieve the caregiver so they are able to leave the bedside -- to give an hour of rest to someone who has been up all night dealing with a pain crisis or wondering if their loved one would even make ‘til morning.”

Upland Hills Hospice covers a six county area and Spurley oversees groups of volunteers in Dodgeville, Platteville and Richland Center. They go through a 30-hour training and then support the family in a non-medical capacity, as a friend.

In Spurley’s experience, the volunteer/patient relationships have lasted from under 24 hours to two years. After the person dies, bereavement counseling is available to their family for a year, provided by 17 trained bereavement volunteers who assist the social worker. It is a great comfort to many patients to know that their loved ones may receive continued support after they have gone.

Volunteers provide whatever the family needs -- companionship, caregiver support or respite, light housekeeping, meal preparation, yard work, shopping or errands, local transportation, assistance with walks or rides. Some of them also work with the patient on life review projects that may include going through old photographs and naming those pictured, or preserving memories in written form for the family.

One patient had the wish to make a quilt for her daughter but her disease progressed and she was unable to finish it. Hospice volunteer Kathy Wilcox took the material, which was printed with angels, and finished the quilt titled “Your Guardian Angels” in less than two weeks.

The back of the quilt was inscribed with a personal phrase of endearment. The patient was able to present it to her daughter before she died, and it was a very moving time for both the mother and daughter. “It was special to be a part of that,” Spurley said.

Most of the volunteers have had some connection with a hospice in their own lives. They say things like, “I saw the wonderful care hospice gave to my uncle,” or “My parents had cancer and hospice was really there for them.” Some of the volunteers -- Joyce Aschliman, Janet Negronida and perhaps a few others -- have been working with hospice in the Dodgeville area community for over 20 years, since even before the hospice became Medicare certified.

Recently Spurley asked the volunteers to share some of their meaningful experiences. Each was also asked why they decided to be a hospice volunteer and why they keep wanting to continue. Here are some of their answers.

Sharon Stuckey, Montfort (3 years):
“I think it’s important to give back to your local community in some way.One of my very first patients was a “younger” person -- only in her 50s. By the time I started visiting, the patient was very frail. All her children lived far away and were unable to see her on a regular basis. I know she looked forward to our weekly visits. I helped her with some of her last wishes. It made me realize that in our mobile society with one’s children not able to provide care, that the role of hospice is crucial for some patients. Often, it’s just the little things we do for them that mean so much.”

“Being a hospice volunteer has opened my eyes to what is really important in life -- family, friends, and some quality time with each. I often learn something from each new patient I interact with.”

Alma Jurgensen (Richland Center (2 years):
“The winter of 1992-93, my husband was ill with colon cancer and hospice nurses and volunteers were my “angels” that helped me and my family. I feel privileged to be accepted into a home during this critical time. I hope to quietly assist them in any way possible.”

Bonnie Cox, Mineral Point (10 years):
“I enjoy being with people. Also when my husband had cancer for 3 1/2 months, so many people helped us with many different things from just a phone call, cards, brought a meal, visits and on and on ... and it took some tension away and brought us a smile or two. It made me really want to do the same for someone else. I had heard of hospice volunteers so I phoned and joined a super organization. The memories outweigh the sadness. Plus I really do enjoy making life easier for others, and I hope to get at least one smile from them.”

Mary Forseth, Dodgeville (2):
“I helped care for my parents who died of ovarian and colon cancer. I didn’t have the skills I have learned in hospice. There was little compassion or effective pain control during that time. It takes very little to make a difference in the lives of people, to help them understand what is happening to them as their health declines.”

Mildred Swedlund, Barneveld (6):
“We should give of ourselves as we are able. I love working with others and helping where needed...I was able to follow one patient while she was able to stay in her own home, then for a short hospitalization and then in the nursing home.” Swedlund says she keeps volunteering because of “The knowledge that we are there to help patients `live’ each day to the fullest they are able. Death is inevitable for all of us and to be able to acknowledge this is a blessing. My Christian faith supports me.” Janet Negronida, Hollandale: “I feel fortunate to have witnessed the caregiving of two most loving, giving caretakers. These have been my last two experiences and they have been longer experiences with hospice care than most. I have gained much myself -- and feel good that I have eased their lives just a little. Of course death is difficult. Denying its inevitability makes it more difficult. Accepting its inevitability can add greatly to what time there is left.”

Diann Wenger, Mineral Point (1 1/2):
“I went to visit my patient and I was just going to stay a short time since it was my first visit and I ended up staying 2 1/2 hours. We talked about our families and how she knew her death would be so hard on her daughter since she was her only child. When I went the next week, she was near death with her daughter (whom I had not seen before)at her side. I stayed with the daughter until her mother was gone. I went to the visitation and the daughter hugged and could not thank me enough for staying with her. The thank-you meant a lot.”

Donelle Fitzsimmons, Montfort (2):
“One of my patients owned the farm that I and my husband live on now. We reminisced a lot about his former farming days and it was a lot of enjoyment for the both of us to relive the past.” Kate Martin, Mineral Point (6): Martin says she volunteers because of “The sense of purpose, the gift of being able to share my time. The insights and courage of my patients have given me many models to hold in my heart.”

Joanne Jackson, Lone Rock (3):
After having lost many people she loves Jackson says: “I just look back at all the wonderful people that were there for my support system and enjoy being there for other people as support. Death is a part of living and I feel no one should have to face it alone.”

Darlene Lawrence, Platteville (3):
“One patient I was with for over a year died peacefully the day that I was at her house. I had read the Bible to her before she died, and I was at peace also because of that.”

Shirley Sigg, Hollandale (1 1/2):
“I was privileged to take care of my mother-in-law for many years, sharing her steady decline in health, through the dying process. Death when it comes, whether sudden or anticipated, is always a shock... that helpless feeling of loss. If I can in any way lessen that burden in my own humble way, I am pleased to do so.”

Jocelyn McWilliams, Mineral Point (10):
McWilliams told how she visited a patient for almost three years and was with her when she died. “I feel so bad that so many people put family members in homes and then pretty much forget them,” she said. McWilliams is a hospice volunteer due to “The feeling of being needed and appreciated, of being with someone when they need support and love, and bringing joy and laughter at a difficult time. It is a great fulfillment to me to be of help to those in need.”

Patricia Bicknell, Richland Center (3):
Bicknell said one reason she became a volunteer was to learn how to respond to grievers. “I realize a lot of families need unbiased help when dealing with those dying. As an outsider, I can quietly do whatever tasks need done for those overwhelmed with their daily chores.”

Hazel Beighley, Lone Rock (2)
Beighley describes the “wonderful experience” of caring for a man for 4-5 months. “This was a great experience for me to give respite care to his wife so she could get out. The experience was probably more beneficial to me than it was to the family. I gained much insight into myself. Death is a natural part of living. We’re born, we live, and someday we will all die. Isn’t it nice we don’t know when!”

Serafina Bathrick, Avoca (10)
Bathrick says she joined hospice “because of my mother’s death -- a time for reconciliation and mutual recognition. I like to think it’s never too late for these deep exchanges.” She continues volunteering because of “The learning about and the acceptance of loss -- how death is always present to teach us to live as whole human beings; conscious, thoughtful, receptive -- and, ideally, capable of recognizing an other.”

Joyce Aschliman, Barneveld:
As her patient’s illness progressed, she “Would sit and hold her hand and sing church hymns softly to her. It always seemed to lessen her anxiety and calm her down. Sick and dying people can be very lonely and a presence can be very comforting to them.”

Pat Lindsey, Mineral Point (7):
“All of life is beautiful and a blessing. I wanted to better understand the end of life -- how one makes the journey or passage -- and most of all, how do we help one another to do this most important final stage or step... How do you deal with the unknown and aloneness of your uniquely personal journey and end of life. Hospice is holistic -- soundly grounded in what knowledge we have learned about the `whole person,’ and the absolute necessity to not avoid or omit any of that patient’s needs. What a comfort to know that someone will not abandon you when the difficult times in your life show you at your most vulnerable and weak. And also that someone will care for those who love you and you love through the process. Knowing that allows the dying to fully experience and appreciate all the moments of their life and hopefully make death less difficult.”

Other hospice volunteers not quoted here are Nancy Bongers, Platteville(2); David Cry, Spring Green (7 months); Eileen Frank, Dodgeville (2); Theresa Gibbons, Mineral Point (2); Kathy Greenheck, Dodgeville (13); Harriet Helgesen, Blanchardville (7 months); Rita Imhoff, Highland (6); Barbara Krizizke, Darlington (3); Alleine LaChine, Platteville (3); Gene Majeski, Platteville (3); Geri Peterson, Dodgeville (10); Dawn Pfaff, Mineral Point (2); Catherine Rocanello, Mineral Point (2); Steve Kottke, Dodgeville (2); Debra Ruskamp, Richland Center (1 1/2); Ceil Simonson, Richland Center (2); Mary Singer - inactive, Dodgeville; Shirley Symons -inactive, Hazel Green (3); Kathleen Wilcox, Platteville (9).

“These volunteers are like angels on earth,” Spurley said. “I’m so fulfilled from the things they do and having a part in it. They do this unselfishly, out of the love of their hearts.”